Better Together

[00:00:00] Well, good morning. Good morning. Christ Church Happy, Better Together Sunday. We make some noise for that. [00:00:11] Yeah, I know Tina said this, but it's so awesome to see all the different groups, classes, all the places to connect in the life of our church out there. So, yes, make sure to take some time. Check it out. [00:00:25] Our prayer is just. Man, we know God has a place for you. So our prayer is just, you could find that and grow and thrive and build some great relationships that nurture your life. So today we're going to talk about being better together and how important that is. But before we do, would you bow your head in prayer with me? [00:00:46] Father, we thank you so much for today. [00:00:49] Thank you for all the effort, all the prayer, Lord, all the helping hands. And Lord, we pray this would all glorify you. [00:00:56] Father, help us to see how important it is to make space and room in our lives for healthy friendships. [00:01:06] Help us to be good friends to one another in the name of Christ and to support and to encourage and to walk with each other. And Father, we pray your blessing on this all in Jesus good name. [00:01:23] Amen. [00:01:24] Well, I saw a picture of these socks this week. Don't ask me how I came across these, but it says you probably can't read it, but it says, friends don't make friends hang out. [00:01:39] I thought that was funny. I guess you don't. [00:01:42] Friends don't make friends hang out. [00:01:45] And I was listening to a podcast that actually referenced these, and it's kind of a silly little plan words there, but I thought the idea was interesting. That kind of like, we want friendship, but we also kind of wanna be alone at the same time. Anyone with me on this, it's like, man, I would love people that I can deeply connect with. I would love that. But also not sure I have time for that in my life or. Or. And I think in our world today, we can sort of almost see it all as like a little bit of a hassle and a hassle where we question if it's really worth it or not. And what I wanna show you today is that in the pages of scripture, we see this theme of friendship again and again and again. And we're gonna see that the scriptures does not show it as a hassle in our life, but it shows it as something essential in the challenges and difficulty of life. And so I wanna talk to you about that today. And we're gonna look at Ecclesiastes, chapter 4. And this was written thousands of years ago by the wisest man that ever walked this earth other than Jesus. His name was King Solomon. And God gave him this incredible gift of wisdom. [00:03:13] And he's so wise that he wrote a book that's really hard to understand. [00:03:18] You know, you can be so smart that you're not that smart. You with me on that? And in Ecclesiastes, it has so much wisdom, but it's not always really easy to dig it out. But I wanna read to you Ecclesiastes 4, starting at verse 9, it says this. [00:03:33] Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their toil. [00:03:42] For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up again. If two lie together, they keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? [00:03:58] And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him. A threefold cord is not quickly broken. [00:04:09] So do you see the obviously emphasis on relationship in these verses? Right. Like Solomon is saying that, hey, life is better together. [00:04:20] Life is better when we have relationships that strengthen us, that lift us up, that sort of act as a protective measure against the challenges of this world. [00:04:33] And so in this book of Ecclesiastes, this book is so fascinating because it talks about how crazy life is. [00:04:44] I don't know if you know that, but life can get a little bit crazy. [00:04:48] You know, we can look at things that happen and be like, what is going on here? And we can look at life and we can question in our hearts, does anything matter? Is there meaning to this? And when you read Ecclesiastes, Solomon is raising all those questions and he's asking those questions and he's saying, in the midst of this crazy life, here's one thing that is for sure. [00:05:16] Good friends make life better. [00:05:19] And all the things that we can get lost in and confused about, here's Solomon saying, here's one thing that you can take to the bank every time. [00:05:29] Good friends will make your life better. And Solomon will look at all of us and he'll say, and you ought to build those relationships in your life. So that's what we're gonna talk about today. And I first wanna just take a zoom out a little bit and talk about this book of Ecclesiastes. Again, if you've never read this book, it's absolutely fascinating. [00:05:52] But I will tell you, it's a book of scripture that you have to wrestle your way through. [00:05:59] And I know so many times we want all the Bible to be easy reading. [00:06:05] Lord, you know, I just wanna be able to read it all, understand it on my first drive by and be good to go. Why do I have to work at this? Why do I have to wrestle through this? Well, here's just one thing I want you to keep in mind. [00:06:19] If you rake in life, you can get a pile of leaves, but if you dig, you might be able to find diamonds. You with me on this? That sometimes there's a connection between the efforts and the reward of it. And there are some parts of the Bible that we have to put effort into and wrestle with and try to understand. And I would say Ecclesiastes is one of those. And what Ecclesiastes does is looks at all these difficult questions of life. Here's what one commentator said, and I love this. He describes Ecclesiastes as a kind of back door that allows believers to have the sad and skeptical thoughts that they would never allow to enter the front door of their faith. I thought, that's cool. [00:07:14] Like, Ecclesiastes is kind of saying, all right, like, you're having one of those days where you're throwing your hands up in the air and you're like, man, this all stinks. [00:07:25] Does it even make sense? Does it matter? Well, Ecclesiastes is an open door to help us to think through those times and experiences in our life, which I think is so helpful. Now, what Ecclesiastes ultimately wants to take us is it wants us to see this fact that we never want to come to terms with. [00:07:48] And here's what it is. We all are going to die. [00:07:53] And after this sermon, you will be closer to your death than when you came in. [00:07:59] Hopefully this sermon will not speed you up to your death, but I fear that that has happened some Sundays when I look on your face. [00:08:09] But now, as morbid as that sounds, it actually is really helpful to think about that. And that's really what Solomon is trying to do. He's trying to say, hey, you have to think about life from the end first. [00:08:25] And then that will show you how to live today. [00:08:30] Because what happens so much is we live today and we don't think about the end. [00:08:36] And when we live for today without thinking about the end, guess what happens? The quality of our decision making goes down. [00:08:43] Do you know people that just can't get out of living in the moment? Do they make good decisions or bad ones? Mostly bad. Amen. But people who are thinking ahead, who are really looking at the big picture of their life, they're gonna approach life totally different. And. And this is ultimately what Ecclesiastes is trying to get us to Do. It's trying to say, hey, you can pursue all these things in life. And these are. This was written 3,000 years ago. [00:09:11] And guess what? All the things he talks about are the same things today. He says you can pursue pleasure, you can pursue success, you can pursue accolades, you can pursue all these things. But he says, they're like chasing after the wind. [00:09:30] And they don't ultimately make you happy. You ever try to chase the wind? You're like, I'm gonna catch that breeze. [00:09:36] How's that gonna go? [00:09:38] It's not gonna go well. And that's what Ecclesiastes is saying. He's saying, don't spend your life chasing after the wind. Don't spend your life just thinking that your job is the most important thing. [00:09:52] Don't spend your life thinking that some fleeting, happy happiness is the most important thing. What it's trying to say is, at the end, you'll see those things are just chasing after the wind. Now, in the midst of all this questioning, there is this clear message in Ecclesiastes about the importance of relationships. [00:10:14] See, here's what I love about this book. It says, hey, guess what? There's so much of life you're not gonna be able to understand. [00:10:24] So just accept that. [00:10:27] There's so much of life where we're gonna look at things and you're gonna try and understand it. You're say, all right, how does this work? How is God just in the midst of this, what does this all mean? And you're gonna have these pressing questions, and Solomon says, and guess what? You're probably not gonna get really far on some of those answers. Cause life doesn't bow down to. To our sense of reason. [00:10:51] God's purpose is too. It's too high level for us to really understand it at a granular level. You with me on this? And so it says there's a lot you won't understand. But there is one clear message here, that a meaningful life is one that prioritizes relationships. [00:11:14] Allie and I had some good friends over Friday night. They're friends. We've been friends with them for like 15 to 20 years or something. And so we always enjoy being with them. Don't get to see them that much. And it's a couple, and the husband's name is Ryan. And he was hanging out with Teddy, our youngest son. And I could tell Teddy was, like, really enjoying playing with him. Like he just was having a good time. And then Ryan and I went outside to grill some burgers, and Teddy came at the door and he was just standing at the door, and he said, come back. [00:11:52] And that's like the cadence of how he talks. Come back. [00:11:57] And then he pointed not to dad, you know, but to Ryan. Come. You come back. [00:12:04] Come back. And he said, hey, he'll be back in a minute. Teddy cooking food right now. And Teddy didn't care. He just kept saying, come back. [00:12:14] Come back. And finally I said, teddy, we get the message. [00:12:19] It's very clear. We're not accepting this message. [00:12:23] Go play with something. [00:12:25] Come back. It was funny. But Ecclesiastes is saying to us, hey, relationships matter, and they're central to a meaningful life. And we can spend our whole life chasing all these other things that we think will make us happy when God has already provided for us people right in front of us, that if we nurture and build those relationships, it will add far more value to our lives. You with me on this? [00:13:01] I love. Someone said this quote, and I thought it was so good. [00:13:04] They said, I don't matter to most people, but I matter a lot to some people, and they matter a lot to me. [00:13:15] Is that not wisdom right there, Church? [00:13:18] And Ecclesiastes says this. In fact, one of it says. It says in the absurdity of life, it says to married people, it says, enjoy your spouse. [00:13:30] How about that idea, Church? [00:13:33] What a novel idea. [00:13:35] So I'm gonna say, hey, build a marriage that is life giving, that you enjoy. [00:13:41] Treat each other right, because that will add way more value than chasing all these other things. You with me on this? And this is the theme of Ecclesiastes. Relationships are central to a meaningful life. And then Solomon says, and here's why, because we are truly better together, that when we work together, that's the first one. [00:14:07] When we are together, there is a greater reward for our toil. That's what Solomon says. When we are together, there's a greater reward for. For the hard work and the challenges of life. Now, think about what he's saying here. What he's saying is, life is a team sport. [00:14:30] And when we look at each other as a team and we say, you know what? [00:14:38] God has put this person in my life, and God has put me in their life so that we can work together and strengthen each other and do good. [00:14:50] And so many times in life, we can easily isolate and pull back from others and try to do all this thing alone. You ever felt that way? [00:15:03] We can build up walls because of past hurts and difficult relationships. And if we're not careful, we can live life as if it's this solo journey and Mess that God has made it a team sport. I love the movie Miracle. Anybody like that movie? [00:15:23] Two people. All right, great. Let's close in prayer. [00:15:29] But Miracle, obviously, if you haven't seen it, I think the Lord would love for you to see it tonight. It's probably on Netflix, but it's a story of the 1980 hockey team that won the gold medal. And it was, like, the biggest upset in sports history. [00:15:45] And the coach, Herb Brooks, was like a very tough and very eccentric coach. And there's this great scene in the movie where all these amateur players, they're fresh out of all these colleges, they can't get along, and they're fighting against each other, and because of that, they're playing bad hockey. So after a bad performance, he has them just sprint back and forth on the ice until they're, like, half dead. And it's just crazy. And what he's trying to do is to break them down so they can see that, hey, we are a team. It's not about what college I went to. It's not about past rivalries. It's not about these chips on our shoulder, but it's about putting the team in front of our own agenda. And so he's wearing him down, wearing them down. And then finally, the team captain yells out his name, where he's from. And the coach says, and who do you play for? And he says, team usa. It's a great scene, but what is happening there is that he's saying the name on the front of the jersey is more important than the name on the back. [00:16:53] And here's what we do in life, we reverse that. [00:16:57] We think the name on the back is more important, but. But the name on the front is the one that's more important. And you know what the name on the front of your jersey says? It says kingdom of God. [00:17:08] It says your family. [00:17:10] It says your church. It says your friends. It says, hey, look, there's a bigger picture at work. And the way that we serve each other best is when we're saying, look, life is not a zero sum game. We can all win if we're willing to serve each other and to do good for each other and to put ourselves last and to put other people first. That's what Solomon is telling us. If you want to live a miserable life, make it about you. [00:17:46] If you want to live a life that gets emptier and emptier, then constantly put yourself first. [00:17:54] But if you want to live a life of meaning and joy, put your focus on other people. [00:18:00] Here's what one person said, he said this. If you can live in this world in such a way that the person or people beside you, your friend, your spouse, your children, your brother, your sister, the people God has put in your half are your waking concern, your dominant focus, then you will find happiness. [00:18:25] It's paradoxical, isn't it? And I think this is part of why we struggle with it. We're like, no, no, my dominant focus needs to be me. [00:18:34] I gotta make sure numero uno is taken care of. I gotta make sure you know my needs, all this. But the Bible says, no, actually, if you reverse that, you will find a deeper joy. And when our focus lifts off ourselves and turns onto others and say, hey, how can we do this life well together? [00:18:58] Solomon says that is the path and that's the way to a better future. And then Solomon says this, that if you have someone with you and you fall into a pit, they can help you out of it. [00:19:14] Now, I know we don't have that occurrence as much. We do have some serious potholes around Northeast Ohio. So maybe you could just picture this a little bit more in your mind. [00:19:26] But what Solomon is saying is that friendship, it lifts us up when we fail, and it keeps failure from being permanent in our lives. [00:19:40] I love this point. [00:19:43] See, I have spent, like, pretty much all of my adult life in Christchurch. [00:19:51] I started coming, like, every week when I was 14. [00:19:55] I'm like, 25 now. [00:19:58] I don't know why that's funny to you. [00:20:01] A little bit older than that. [00:20:03] Maybe add 15 years, I don't know. [00:20:05] But I've been here a long time, and it's been such an amazing play. I've learned so much church. [00:20:12] There's so many great lessons that have kind of become part of my DNA, and I'm so thankful for it. And one of the greatest lessons that I've learned here, because this is such part of the ethos of this church, is, is that we don't kick people when they're down. [00:20:32] When people fall in a pit, we don't shame them and kick dirt on their face. You with me? We see it as our Christian responsibility to help them out of the pit. You with me on this. And I have seen that modeled in our church again and again and again. [00:20:55] See, we don't see it as our role to shame you, and I don't see it as your role to shame me. When we struggle and fail because sin carries enough shame of its own, but it is our role to help each other with grace and love. [00:21:14] When we stumble and when we fall, which we all will, and we honor God when we are the type of people that says, look, I'm with you in the good days, and I'm with you in the bad days. [00:21:31] I love you when you're easy to love, and I'll find a way to love you when you're hard to love. Amen. [00:21:37] And what I've loved about this church is that that lesson has been. [00:21:41] I've just seen it. It's so powerful. And I believe this is what Solomon is saying. You need a friend that is at their best when you are at your worst. You with me on this. And here's what our world does. Our world just says, nope, you're canceled. You messed up. [00:21:58] You didn't do this. You did this. You didn't say this. You said this. All right, you're done. And that's the way our world tends to model for us. Relationship. You didn't do what I think you should. You're gone. [00:22:12] But, church, can I tell you, and you should be so thankful about this, that that is not the way Christ treats you. [00:22:20] The Lord doesn't say, you fell in that pit. I told you not to fall in that pit. I told you 2,347 times not to fall in that pit, and you stepped right in there. [00:22:32] You know what the Lord says, let's get you out of this, and let's restore you. [00:22:38] And our job is to help and to restore and to be with each other through the good and the bad. You with me on this, church. And we all need people like that, and we all need to be that. And that's part of the way God designed it. And then lastly, he says, good friends, a cord of three strands is not easily broken. [00:23:04] What does that mean? It means that good friends give you strength that you need for the challenges of this life. [00:23:16] I know probably no one in here has any challenges going on in their life. I think those are only people at the 11 o' clock service. Is that right? Yeah. [00:23:25] Cause you're here. You could be watching the Browns game, but you love Jesus and you're here, and I love you for that. Amen. [00:23:34] But we all have challenges in life, don't we? [00:23:37] And alone. What Solomon is saying, alone. If we are alone, those challenges are going to take us out. [00:23:49] If I beat this drum enough, you can't do it alone. I preach this, like, four times every year, and I'm still not sure it's enough. [00:23:58] You're like, please shut up. I'm not going to. I got, like, five Minutes left church. You're not meant to. [00:24:07] This is God's design, and it is good. [00:24:11] You need brothers and sisters to stand with you, to pray for you, to give you guidance, to give you wisdom, to give you to be a listening ear. [00:24:24] Sometimes I need someone who I can just say crazy things to in my mind, and they can take it and know, like, he's just. He'll be fine. [00:24:36] Am I the only one here? [00:24:39] There's so many different things that these people that good friends can give us that make a difference in the challenges of this life. There's a old Vietnam colonel named David Hackworth, and he says, if you find yourself in a fair fight, you have not planned accordingly. [00:25:02] I love that quote. If you find yourself in a fair fight, you've not planned accordingly. And actually, in the army, when they are making battle plans, they always plan to have three times more soldiers than the enemy. [00:25:16] We don't want this one on one nonsense. We want three on one. [00:25:21] We don't want a fair fight because a fair fight is harder to win than a fight where you have numbers. You with me on this? This is what Solomon's saying. You don't want your life to be a fair fight. You want to stack the deck. [00:25:36] You want God's people around you and with you so that when you face the challenges that we're all facing, we're all gonna face. It's not just you, but it's many others with you. You with me on this? This is what Solomon is teaching us today. So here's my challenge for you today. Number one, go sign up for a group. [00:26:05] It's an easy first step to building relationships. Church. There are incredible men and women in this church. [00:26:14] I promise you there are people that God will enrich your life through. [00:26:23] And you know what? You will enrich their lives, too. It's not just about you. It's also about what you have to give to others. [00:26:30] And church. It's a simple pathway to begin to practice and to live this, live this out, sign up, join a group. There's tons of options. [00:26:43] Introduce yourself to someone. Sunday, let's have a lot of awkward conversations after the service. Could we do that? Yeah. Hey, how you doing? Chet made me do it. That's fine as a starting point, but church, we need to own what the scriptures is calling us to. [00:27:02] And I would say, secondly, pray for God to send the right people into your life. [00:27:08] I think that is such an important prayer. We could be praying every day, God, send the right people into my life and send me where you want you with me on this church. God will honor that prayer. [00:27:24] And what a blessing we will all have in it. [00:27:29] And can I just remind you one last thing. [00:27:33] There's this great passage in John 15 where Jesus looks at the disciples, and ultimately he's looking at each one of us. And he says, no longer do I call you servants, but I call you friends. [00:27:47] This idea is so important to God. [00:27:50] And Jesus gives us this honor. He says, I want to show you what this is meant to look like. [00:27:57] And Jesus is that friend, that he will protect you from all evil. [00:28:03] He will strengthen you in the challenges of life. He will redeem your life from the pit every single time. [00:28:14] And each of us can go to him. We can say, lord, teach me how to be that way to others as you have been that way to me and church. That's where the power is. Let's pray. Father, we love you. [00:28:28] We are humbled by your goodness. To us, we thank you, Lord, that you do. Lord, look at us. [00:28:39] Broken, failing, struggling, imperfect people. And you say, I call you friends. What an honor. Help us to not lose sight of that great honor, but to cherish it for what it is. [00:28:53] Father, I pray in each of our lives you would send the right people, people that can strengthen, protect, add value to our lives, and ones that we can do the same. [00:29:08] Send the right people and send us where we need to be. [00:29:15] Father, we pray you would be glorified in all this. Your church would be strengthened, your kingdom would advance. We ask this in Jesus good name, Amen.